I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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