yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i came on her dog
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize