hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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