some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
