So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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