you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
