Screwed.edu
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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