I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Randomize
