non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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