we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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