in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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