I wish life had little blips of pornography
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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