DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
