Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
