I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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