So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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