i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize