you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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