Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
