But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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