Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize