I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
