ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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