i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
