if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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