Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
