i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I love you. Go after that dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
