Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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