Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
