Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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