so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
