he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
