all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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