i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
