who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize