problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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