i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
