I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
