Just fell off a train. Bad.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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