she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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