shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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