My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dear god my vagina.
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