she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
