Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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