I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize