Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
