if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His nipple licking is glorious
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