yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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