I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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