well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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