When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
