she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
