we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
