Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Panties = found
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
