I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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