Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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