google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
