He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
