yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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