I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize