so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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