If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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