So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
