I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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