I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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