I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
