He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
