Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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